Blinded by darkness

Let me first by starting off by saying I've seen that some people from other countries have been reading my blog. I have no idea how you found it, what you read, if you liked it, etc, but Welcome.

The past few days have been CRAZY. I've gone 100mph almost non-stop. I'm stressed. Life is chaotic. Can't say I've been enjoying some things, but that's life. So today, I had on the planner was a doctor's appointment in the early afternoon and then the Braves game tonight.  What better to do with that free time than be with my Savior. So I was reading Jesus Calling and as I was catching up on the last few days, I came across Psalm 119:105


"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path."


Pretty clear. Pretty straightforward. If you've been around church for anytime, you've heard this verse, most likely. 
But this thought hit me.


"I would be blind without the Word. "


Think about it.  Sitting to my left is my Bible. 99.9% of what I know about the Lord is from this book.  Yet I don't always treat it as such. I don't always treat it like the greatest treasure I possess.  Not only that but if you look at John 1, it says, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."

Now, my Bible is not God. But it is who we know Him. It is how we know about hope and life. It is how we know about how to live. Most importantly, it is how we know that it is not about us, it is about Him. He wrote this book. These are His words.  


How often do I read those words and think that? Not as much as I should.


My heart is heavy. Growing up is hard. Everyday I question if I was pursuing the right things. Doing the right things. Making wise choices. Am I being selfish? Am I wrong? Am I blind to obvious things? Everything in my life right now, has a purpose, but do I need to rid myself of those things? What am I doing? Who I am?


I could go on and on. I am a doubter and a worrier. I'll be the first to admit it. People that know me well, will be the second. Most moments the only thing I know for sure is that the Lord is my Savior and He is sovereign.


Today I'm praying for faith, strength, and hope. I'm praying to trust, to understand, to stop. I'm just praying.


And needing more of the Light and less darkness. Needing more of Him and His words and less of me.